Yesterday, I was asked by 502 and Morning Glory if I wanted to go to the State of Colorado Tattoo Convention on Saturday. I thought about it and thought about, and then finally decided that yes, I do really want a tattoo, I am still simply not ready to put something on my body permanently. I politely explained that to them and they laugh. I guess a simple, no I don't want to go would have done fine with those two, but me I like to give an explanation.
This brings me to my next point, about tattoos. I am beginning to think that I already a have a tattoo on my forehead. It says "if you are a stalker, I'd like to date you." My history shows this, when my high school boyfriend and I broke up, my sister use to say "you gotta give him points for being persistence." One time in college, a guy called the house like 25 times in an hour, finally Werd told him that I would go out with him if he would just stop calling. I still thank her for that. Then there was the SD, whom my friends would probably put into the stalker category. On to the present tense, I was hanging around with Baldy for a little while, when I realized that I just simply wasn't happy. It wasn't one particular thing, I just wasn't happy. That should end there. I always try to do the friend thing, I try very hard to keep at least the friend relationship up. That was the wrong idea. Last night we were out and about playing shuffle board (one of my new favorite games) when Baldy had to bring up us dating, and why it didn't work, why I just shut down, why I wont give us a chance. Apparently, when you flat out say, I was not happy, that is not a good enough reason to not be in a relationship. I tried with all my mite to keep the calm cool and collected demeanor, without exploding when I finally realized that continuing the conversation would be just utterly stupid. I said my piece again about not being happy and then I politely (or not so politely) said I would prefer if you were completely out of my life.
We ended up having to leave the bar, because he couldn't be friends. He couldn't hang out with me with other people (that he works with as well), because he wanted it to just be the two of us. He couldn't get it, that we didn't work. One thing that made me push him away the first time was he was simply too into me, too head strong. I am a slow go, I don't like to many text messages, multiple phone calls in one day, or showing up places he knew I was at. All of it was over the top and eventually drove me to be unhappy. It was about a week ago that we finally tried to be friends. We talked at work for the first time in ages, and slowly he has started with the text messages and the emails. I was at the bar with Swallow and Hungry when he kept hanging out at our table. At one point, Swallow said "are you and him trying to hangout again or is just annoying me." I just kind of chuckled and said "we are trying to be friends." He is simply over the top. Yesterday he had the audacity to bring up my blog and people on my blog. I have made it clear that I write my blog for me, and for the people that I care about to keep up with me on a daily basis. He was questioning me about hanging with Muscles. Seriously, that is ridiculous. Its my life, my blog, and my decision to hang with whomever I choose! If I am not happy, then so be it.
Although, I do have to give him credit, he was honest with me, that is more I can say for some. However, that is still no reason to stay in a relationship that I was not happy. If any of you know of a better reason (then I am not happy) to not be in a relationship, by all means do share. I believe honesty to be the best policy, yet he doesn't seem to be soaking up what I am spilling out.
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