Wondering...

Have you ever wondered what life you were/are suppose to lead? The thought has been crossing my mind of late. Am I suppose to be where I am? Am I suppose to be doing the things I am doing? Am I really who I want to be? Am I surrounding myself with good people?

Here is a little background. I was raised in a middle class family with the best values possible. We had dinner together on the majority of nights, except for the days that my sister and I had sporting events. My family would bend over backwards for me and my sister or anyone else that is important to both of us. They are loving and supportive, in all situations. I am sure there were days of disappointment, but I choose to believe they were few and far between. Unknownly, I have challenged my parents will. I am sure I have pushed their buttons, and made them truly questioned what is wrong with their youngest child. I believe in my heart that they trust my judgment and know where I am headed in my life.

I recently had a birthday, and someone said that even years are suppose to be terrible. I just don't see how that is possible. I don't see how anything can be worse then the last year. In a nut shell: I had a home, I was engaged to be married, I had a job that would have made more than my father, I had a great group of friends, I lost a family member, I became the worst communicator known to man. I felt as though I was the picture of a successful young professional a success...and then the electricity went out.

Lately, I have been trying to find myself. I am in a great search to truly find myself, who I am suppose to be, what I am suppose to be doing, and really make an impact on the world. My family has been supportive, ending an engagement, walking away my extremely over paid job, a move across the country, and now the fact that I am actually in rehab (the rehab part is, really the only funny thing). It is crazy and I realize that I have truly tested their unconditional love. It has been quite a year. I have had my share of good stories to tell. I have had fun, enjoyed the party and gotten the chance to experience the wild side. Although, I am not really sure that I am being the best asset to society that I can truly be.

I would like to be back in corporate America. I would like to truly enjoy being and feeling like a success. Helping people and making a difference. My sister is successful, and I pray that I will follow in her foot steps. My life is good, but I wish it was great. I truly believe that things happen for a reason. Between work, fun, and social...I wish things would make a turn for the positive.

I could see myself falling for someone, and then of course I get the petrified that I am going to be burned again. I wish I could really grasp the concept of love like you have never been hurt. I find myself attracted to people who I think will be the perfect candidate. But, I can't commit. I can't give myself (all of myself) to one person, for the fear that I truly don't think I can go through the heart break again. I never was one to crumble easily, and now I am the one who has the door mat quality.

I believe that the right person will sweep me off my feet, and make me never look back. I believe that the right job will fall in my lap (well after rehab). I believe that life will all work out the way it is suppose to! I don't want to doubt life. I don't want to doubt love. I no longer want to be the failure of my family, I'd much rather give that title back to my cousin that is truly deserves it. I want to make a difference and truly be happy. All in all, I just want to make the world a better place. A place for everyone to be truly happy.

I just hope that things start to happen sooner then later. May things work out for all of you as well. Make the year the best it can be. :)

Gambling.

I have been known to gamble a time or two. I enjoy Vegas. I enjoy the idea of putting a little friendly wager on a game. I have always wanted to be in Vegas for March Madness, however, I know myself...I would probably bet the house on a gut feeling. Knowing that, I am smart enough to stay away and just enjoy the family/friendly bracket competition for March Madness.

Since I am the "Cruise Director" for baker's, I have been assigned to put together some fun for March Madness. I just nod and smile, when I hear the news. I love the part that I was actually assigned to do this, and not asked. I guess, that goes back to the welcoming mat quality that I possess. If only, Werd was here to see, new people figure out that I am a welcoming mat.

If any of you would like to partake in the fun/friendly march madness brackets, give me a jingle. Once the brackets have been announced, I will be posting all the information needed. Have a fantastic day.

:)

the priceless smile.

Numerous times in my life, my best friend has told me I am the worst door mat she has ever seen. I am a) not that pretty and b) i am continue to let people walk all over me. Picture this: I was not suppose to work tonight. I showed up, and one of my favorite people "SULLY," says, you aren't on the shedule, "did you pick up because someone knows you are a sucker and can't say no?" Crazy!

Most people that are important to me would say that I am a pretty strong willed person, but there is also a characteristic that I inherited (that I wish I hadn't) that comes out, day in and day out...the door mat characteristic. If I don't like you, don't even bother spending (wasting) the time saying hello (I have no patience and extremely limited forgiveness)...but, if you are even remotely on side that I like or enjoy you, then by all means I will bend over backwards twice, if not more for you. I love to make other people happy. I am a people pleaser. Of all the qualities (good or bad) that could have been passed down, I am happy to report that being a people pleaser really isn't that bad. It is a pleasure. A pleasure that I truly enjoy. Tonight is a perfect example of being a people pleaser.

I was at work, and someone asked me if, I could work their shift tomorrow. I don't want to work. I gave up my shift, so the last thing I want to do is work, but that isn't the way the cookie crumbles when they say "hey, I know that you want to work for me." Its absolutely terrible, that I respond with the "I can, because I can't say no". The staff immediately cracks up and says, yep thats definitely how she is. I enjoy being the people pleaser. A smile on someone else's face is worth more then the winning the lottery.

I can never say enough good things about my parents, but one thing I will be eternity grateful for is the lesson of a smile. A smile and the importance of a smile/happiness is worth more then any dollar amount. Collectively but individually my parents taught me that. That smile means more to me then anything. I just wish, I was close enough to see that smile more often then not, but hey, you win some you lose some...you can't have everything.

I smiled a lot today. I hope you all get the pleasure of smiling for no particular reason. :)

Bowling.

I have a dear friend that gets the pleasure of organizing about anything and everything for his department. He named himself the cruise director because he always did it all. Well, I have now taken on that lovely title for the people at work.

If a group activity needs to be organized, I get the pleasure of putting it together. It is actually a nice title and responsibility to have. I know that if I organize it, it will be done to my liking. Just the thought of that makes me smile.

The staff at baker's is pretty big about doing things as a group. I have been organizing bowling on the nights when it is dollar games. Lets just say that I have been bowling more times in the last three weeks then I have in the past two years. The best part of bowling is that I am actually a pretty decent bowler. I am competitive but light hearted about it. I am happy to cheer for everyone when they are doing well, or give high fives and pep talks to the ones that aren't the most coordinated. I think I am a decent winner, but I hate to lose.

Last night it was dollar games, so of course off we went. How can you go wrong, two hours of fun for like 8 dollars? I get to bowl, drink, and be with friends. Seems like a perfect way to spend a Tuesday night. Not to mention the fact that I was undefeated last night. :)

If you get a chance, do something out of the ordinary. Enjoy the bowling ally or the batting cages or even a good book. Just take some time to make yourself smile. A smile is priceless.

American Airlines

I had the pleasure of flying to Philadelphia this past weekend. Of course, I couldn't get a direct flight, which I definitely wasn't going to complain about, then the worst thing happened. I was walking through the Dallas/Fort Worth airport, while I was on the phone with my father. He informed me that the Philly airport was 5 hours behind due to terrible weather. I get to the gate, they say our flight is on time, so I relay that message to my dad thinking I am just that lucky.

Yeah, I am so lucky, that I get on the plane and they make the announcement that we will taxi away from the gate and sit on the runway for 3 hours. Talk about ridiculous. American Airlines sat an entire plane full of people on the runway for 3 hours without a drink or a snack. This is the type of thing they do and then apologize for, NOT something they do on purpose. They knew before they pulled away from the gate that we were going to be sitting for 3 hours. Why on earth wouldn't they let us hang out in the airport? I was none too thrilled. If you are go make me sit there, at least offer me some water.

To make matters worse, I sat next to someone who wanted to continue to talk. Picture this, I had my head phones in and my face in a book. I got the infamous shoulder tap. Okay, once I can handle, but not four times. I am a people pleaser. I am humor the guy and answer his questions and carry on a short amount of conversation, but I was over it! I talked to my cousin, sister, and various friends trying to avoid him. After I get off the phone he always had something to say about my conversation. Even if someone listens to my conversation (which, I know is inevitable when they are sitting 3 inches away), don't talk to me about it. They weren't in the conversation, and I'd like to keep it that way. Again, I am the people pleaser so I continue to humor this fool with talking about my conversations. I was none to amused.

So, I pretend to fall asleep, good news for me I finally do. We take off and I am finally on my way to Philly. Good news for me I sleep through the drink cart, so I don't get any snacks or drinks for the entire flight. Yikes, it was a terrible 6 and 1/2 hours of my life. Sucks to be me. The look on my mom's face when she saw me at the airport, was worth it.

Enjoy your day and remember to try and humor people. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Go above and beyond expectations. It isn't that hard, and it really does go along way!

The Life of the Party.

I got a fabulous compliment today. There are about 15 of us that are going bowling tonight. One of them asked a few other people if I was going. They responded with yep, she will be there. They then said, "great, she is the life of the party, anywhere she goes everyone is bound to have a good time." I guess she continued to say that, she had never seen me without a smile on my face.

I think, I am pretty fun, but it is definitely nice to hear that from other people.

Enjoy your day.

Bad Day at the Office!

I find this funny. Its a four minute video that you need to make sure your sound is turned up. I got a chuckle out of this and I am sure you will too. :) How can people get to this point?

I also find it funny that this video is mostly about men. Sorry guys, but I guess this goes to show you that women, can handle themselves a little more professionally.

Controlling your temper is extremely important to me. I rarely ever lose mine and I appreciate the people that can control their temper. We all have those moments that we feel like unleashing it all, but it says a lot about the people that use that anger/frustration in a positive manor. Like my mother always said "you will get more bee's with honey than vinegar." It is a statement that goes through my head, every time I sense my temper/anger getting to a level that isn't healthy. Another great thing to ask to yourself is, "if my mother was standing here, would I continue to down this path?"

These people are definitely funny to watch, but they need some serious help. They probably also need new jobs. :)

Have a great one.

Drug Rehab.

Signed up for Drug Rehab Therapy for work. It seems as though it is a joke for me to be there, but hey, you win some, you lose some. I have to give them 26 hours of my life for the next six weeks, so I might as well make the best of it. :)

Today was a simple overview of what the class is going to be like. What the expectations are for the environment, success, and future goals. All in all, I spent more time driving to and from class than I was actually there, but again that is for another day. This class is suppose to restore the abilities to focus on real goals, self control, obtaining/maintaining self control of the so called addict. (I am not an addict, but I am taking the class anyway). I think I have failed the first part, since I am not admitting to being an addict. Alrighty, that was my last and final joke about rehab. I do believe this class will be somewhat beneficial.

This class is also suppose to help the individual snap out of traumatic events that may be leading/contributing to the addiction and away from the reality of life. I don't know a person who wouldn't benefit from this. Free therapy on dealing with reality of life, what a steal! There are a few people in the world who have never had or know anyone that has had a traumatic event in their life, but there are also a significant amount that have had an issue once or twice in their life. Learning how to deal with trauma is great tool that every person on this planet could use. You never know when you are going to be in a situation that has trauma stamped all over it.

I will continue to attend drug rehab and keep you all updated on the comings and goings of the lovely group in which I now belong.

Continue to live the dream. Be happy, smile, and make a difference today. Each moment is an opportunity to be successful.

New Life - Day 1

When you eat what you are suppose to eat, 3 fruits, 3 veggies, 2 1/2 proteins, 2 starches, and 2 snacks you really take in a lot of food. Well, even though I drank 72 ounces of water, had 2 starches, 2 proteins, 3 fruits and 3 veggies and 2 somewhat snacks (carrot and celery sticks), I was literally starving all day. How can you eat three balanced meals, and 2 snacks and still be hungry? It was as if I hadn't eaten all day. I guess what they say is true, when you eat the correct foods your bodies natural reaction is to speed up your metabolism. I must have been burning through all those lovely veggies.

I even went to the gym for a good crisp work out, a hot tub and steam room visit. All in all, the day was a success. Too bad, I couldn't get Swallow to visit the gym with me. Maybe she will come to the gym with me today.

When I was telling, Werd, about my new eating plan, she brought something that I hadn't thought about to my attention. I am pretty terrific. I am doing this plan with Swallow because she complains that she doesn't eat right, yet she doesn't cook, so basically I don't cook the right food. Of course, I want to be healthy, so I immediately jump on the bandwagon that I will do this with her and cook the right foods. The plan is great for Swallow, because I am doing all the work. I went to farmers market, I cut up all the fresh veggies and put them in easily accessible containers in the fridge (so they are a convenient snack), I measured out the correct weight for dinner and then I cooked it. How could Swallow not enjoy having me do this plan with her? All she has to do is sit down at the table for dinner. I actually enjoy having her rely on me for cooking. It is nice to feel needed and appreciated, and I truly love cooking. :) Another positive, with this new healthy cooking, is that I am challenged to think of new recipes and new healthy cooking methods.

I made myself breakfast this morning. A cup of coffee, glass of tomato juice, a poached egg, a half of grapefruit and a piece of toast. I never eat breakfast, but I was hungry literally starving. As I was sitting down for breakfast, Swallow walks by and says "hmmm, that looks much better than my protein bar." Of course it does, it is real food!

I wont be home for dinner tonight, so before Swallow left for work, I told her that dinner would be ready in the fridge and I'd leave heating instructions on the counter. She just kind of smiled and said "thanks mom." Even though she isn't my responsibility, I miss taking care of stuff like that. I use to do that kind of stuff when I lived with my sister and then again with Werd in college. It is true the way to a person's heart is through their stomach.

The love of magic.

Magic. It was one of my favorite things as a child. Growing up, I had magic book after magic book, not that I ever really learned how to do anything beyond a few card tricks, but magic always fascinated me. When I was a little girl my family all went to see David Copperfield perform. I was amazed. It was probably the only time in my life I was so well behaved. I sat in my seat for about 2 maybe 3 hours just in awwww of what he could up on stage. I can remember seeing him walking on stage and then moments later, riding a motorcycle through the crowd. I didn't think about it at the time, but I have since learned that motorcycles need time to warm up/rev up their engines. So, still to this day it truly baffles me even more, how I didn't hear the engine revving up.

I could go on an on for ever about magic. It really fascinates me. I thoroughly enjoy how it is such a secret world. Our societies unwritten law of never revealing the secrets of magic. There are entire retail stores, entertainers, and people's professions made out of magic. That is like getting to play your favorite sport as a "job" for the rest of your life. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy working, but never have I had a love for a game or activity that I could actually turn into a profession. Some are born with the gift, others (like me) learn to appreciate the talent.

I came across this great video and thought I would share.



May you all believe in magic. It brings a smile to my face, I can only hope something as simple as this will bring a smile to your face as well. Enjoy the day.

Happy President's Day

In honor of President's Day here is a little trivia to get the brain ticking.

Name the two presidents that passed away on the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Name the first president to die in office?

Who served the shortest presidency?

Who was the first president to have a christmas tree in the white house?

What president was actually married in the White House?

Who was the first president to own a vehicle?

Enjoy President's Day.

Eating Right

There has to be a secret about living to the ripe old age of 99. I really do not have the motivation to do that, well other than I could get my picture on the Today show if I make it to 100, but I am pretty sure that the quality of life at 99+ years isn't overly wonderful.

I am getting older and maybe a little wiser (but that is for another blog). I figured its time I start really taking care of myself. After all, if I don't take care of myself, who will. There certainly isn't a line of people out the door, around the corner or down the street wanting to sign up for the job. So, for starters I thought I would start to eat right. We can change all of my other bad habits down the road. Its all about baby steps, when I do everything in baby steps, it is extremely difficult for me not to be successful.

Swallow and I are embarking on the path to eating right ALL THE TIME! Not for a few days and then, let loose. We are both in decent shape and pretty good health, but there is always room for improvement. Since, I am the only one that really cooks in the house, we are doing it together. We can strategize, motivate, and commiserate together. Since I knew this was about to go down, I had great weekend of over eating and not eating the correct food. I ate things I don't even like, just to be able to say, "yep, I still don't like fried food."

Over the weekend, I had homemade parmesan garlic bread, buffalo burgerS (yep that is more than 1) with guacamole, french fries, fried green beans, and pizza. Not one healthy thing, but now I am back to eating right, exercising and taking care of myself. I use to eat really well as a child, (well, if you don't count my tub of icing or sticks of butter), but I really enjoy salads, fresh veggies, and lean meats. If I never had an ounce of fat, again I could honestly careless. My downfall, will be bread. I could live on bread, hard crunchy bread. If its warm that is an added bonus. I will keep you posted on how I am doing with my adventure to take care of my health.

In case you didn't know, I am doing all of this so I can get my picture on the Today show with Willard Scott.

R.I.P

My great grandmother "is a bell necessary on a bicycle" passed away yesterday. She was extremely special to my sister and I growing up. She spent every winter that I can remember with our family in Florida. My sister and I were always so happy when she came to stay with us. She had some great one liners that would knock just about anybody over. She did all of our chores, for about three months of the year we didn't even have to think about whether our clothes were clean. Somedays it seemed as though we had just taken them off before she was giving us a clean pile to put away.

Gram had a special chair, it swiveled and rocked. We didn't use it any other time of the year, (trust me it was not attractive), but when Gram would come to stay with us we always rearranged the furniture. Her chair had to be in the center of all the happenings.

She listened to the television loud, but if you had the radio on too loud she would sit in the living room with her hands over her ears. She wouldn't buy green bananas, because at her age she wasn't sure she would be around to eat them. Ask her how she liked her pork chop, she would respond with "mint jelly, please." She ate gummy orange slices and green mint leaves like they were going out of style. She had an anniversary for every day... so and so died today, so and so got married for the 3rd time today, so and so graduated from high school today. Everyday, was an anniversary or special occasion for something.

One thing we loved about her was the fact that you never knew what was going to come next. Our mom would tell us to ask Gram to do things, that she knew Gram would say no to, but it was always nice to be asked. Well that came back to bite us several times. This one particular incident, I had a SINGLE taco, and my mom told me to ask Gram if she would like one. Gram didn't like tacos, but on this particular day Gram responded with "Sure, dear I would love a taco." So much for me getting a taco. Another day, I was headed to the beach, mom told me to ask Gram if she wanted to go. Gram wasn't a huge fan of being in the sun, so she most of the time doesn't like the beach. Well, not that day. She was all up for it. She went to her room and changed clothes for the beach. I can remember looking at my mom, and all she could was laugh. Gram wasn't known for being tactful, my mother likes to drink coke out of a wine or champagne glass, at dinner one night Gram looked over at my mom and said "you are drinking entirely to much and piling on the pounds." Rut Rhoe, wrong thing to say, but that was Gram. You never knew what she was going to say.

She would tell people that she never met, it was so good to see them again. Of late, you could tell her mind and body were starting to go. I called to wish her a happy thanksgiving and she responded with "thanks, happy easter to you." I kind of laughed, but she was serious, she continued to ask questions about me going to church. My roommates got a kick out of it, and so did I.

I know she is in a better place and visiting the rest of her friends. Heck when you live to be 99, you probably out lived everyone you ever knew. I miss her very much. Maybe, I will whip up a batch of her incredible cream puffs, in memory of her. She had an incredibly special bond with my mother. It was amazing to watch the two interact. May you all be blessed with that type of special relationship. Take the extra minute to make people smile. Go above and beyond their expectations. My mother always did for Gram, and Gram did that for my mother.

Happy Valentines Day

I don't think I have celebrated Valentines Day since I was in high school. It is today, so I thought I would wish all of you who are celebrating the holiday a happy Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, it is a great idea to express you love for that special person, but I am much more in favor of expressing your love everyday...NOT buying chocolate, stuffed animals, and sending over priced red roses flowers on February 14th.

Here is a little trivia for you. How many different cards did Hallmark produce this year?

Make someone smile. Not just today, but everyday. Its about the little things. Its about knowing that there is happiness in their heart.

Competitive.

Growing up playing almost every sport known to man, you learn how to be competitive. I am not a huge fan of losing. Yes of course it happens, but I would prefer it not to happen to me. I'll take a good tight match, that I might actually lose, in any sport over a blow away, but I don't like to loose.

When my sister and I were growing up, my parents wanted us to have the tools to survive in any situation. My father was pretty big on the fact that if both of us could play pool and golf or tennis we would be a success in life. That has in mighty handy for me. There have been numerous times that I have hussled a few guys on the pool table, and well lets just say no one I play golf with will let me tee off from the ladies tees.

About a week ago, I went out for dinner with Baldy and then we went to shoot some pool. I was up 5 games to 4 before my opponent decided he was done. Poor guy. He was a good sport, and I was a pretty decent winner. I didn't mention the score at all the rest of the evening. :) Last night, Baldy asked if I wanted to go bowling. After work a few of us met up at the bowling alley to have a few drinks and have a little fun. He asked if I knew how to bowl. I did share, that I knew how to bowl and but that I had been a almost a year. I also relayed a story about how I once broke my finger bowling, he laughed. Of course, any idiot that breaks a finger bowling, can't be any good at it. You could see the look on his face, he was about to beat me in something, and he loved the thought of it.

We bowled 3 games. The first game, he beat me badly. I had a rough start, and I couldn't buy a spare. Game two, I won. Rubber match time. He was trying so hard to be on his "A", but game three went in my direction. I won! Baldy, looked at me and said, "hmmm, pretty funny that you haven't bowled in almost a year, but you beat me." I responded with, "yeah that is pretty funny." You could tell he hated to lose, but again I was a good sport. I didn't mention it the rest of the evening, well, until he said "wait till I get you on the golf course. The way you throw a bowling ball, I should make you play from the tips." This guy hasn't even seen me swing a club, yet he already knows I shouldn't play from the ladies tees. I got a chuckle out of his competitiveness.

We are headed for the slopes on Friday. I wonder if we will be competing for the fastest time down the mountain or something crazy like that. I will keep you all posted about our continued score card.

Have a great day.

Guitar Hero

I am shocked to find that grown adults play so many video games. During my adventure to Phoenix, I had the pleasure of playing Guitar Hero III. We were at a party with all of Swallow's friends, when all the sudden they busted out the game. Swallow was quick to inform everyone at the party that I would be extremely bad, since I am tone deaf. Now if that doesn't sound like a challenge, I don't know what is! So, I tell Swallow to bring it on. I proceed to wipe the floor with her. She wants a rematch, but I walk away a winner. I knew if I played again, she would find her rhythm and beat the living pants off of me. I could see how the game would get addicting. After all, I only played for one song, yet the next time I was on a computer I bought the wireless version for my PS2 so that we could play at home.

Guitar Hero III arrived this morning. I didn't tell Swallow that it had arrived until about 3:30, she responded with, I have one more appointment and then I will be home so we can play. Who knew someone could have an appointment, and drive 22 miles in rush hour traffic and be home at 4:45. It sure seemed like someone was pretty excited about playing Guitar Hero III. She played a couple of songs while I was making dinner. I literally, had to tell her to turn the game off when dinner was ready. I now know how my mom felt when she would have to tell us five or six times to stop playing Nintendo.

After dinner, I decided I'd give my new toy a little action. Apparently, if you are bad enough at the game, you get booed off the stage. I promptly got booed off the first five times. A couple of the songs, I didn't even make it for the first quarter of the song. The highest percent of a song I completed was 56, at least I made it half way through, right? I thought Swallow might have a heart attack, she was literally rolling on the ground in laughter, at my poor performance.

After she got herself back to a normal state, she wanted to go to Walmart and get another guitar so we could have a face off. I slowly figured out how to play on the EASY setting, but at least I wasn't getting booed off the stage anymore. The good news for me, during the face off I won 9 out of 11 matches before she quit. We also played together to try and win more money, however, that didn't really work out in our favor. If one of us was doing well, the other did extremely poorly...OF COURSE we were booed off the stage, numerous times. Mr. T came home in the middle of this, and got some free entertainment, watch Swallow and I rock out to Guitar Hero. After Swallow retired for the night Mr. T stepped in to play a little while. He beat me, and beat me badly. I retired after that whoopin!

Don't you worry, I will be practicing! I am a little too competitive for my own good, and I need to make sure I can win before the crew gets here next week.

Failure.

I have decided that my temporary sabbatical from life is coming to an end. It is about that time to get back into Corporate America. I never thought, I would actually miss it, but I did and continue to do so. I enjoy wearing the suit, sitting around the conference table, making deals, accomplish a goal or task, traveling to three different cities in two days, and impressing those ahead of me. The joy of being successful, and getting the recognition or acknowledgment of my success puts a smile on my face. I know it is silly, but I enjoy being the person that people say, "oh I hear Aspen coming, get to work." It all brings a smile to my face.

So, I was recently offered a new job, which I GLADY accepted. The money was good, the challenges were great, and the opportunity for advancement is definitely there. All positives! Well, to start, I needed to pass a background check, credit check, and a drug test. I passed the background check and credit check with flying colors, but I got word yesterday that I didn't pass the drug test. I had a terrible migraine almost three weeks ago and one of my favorite people gave me a Lortab to help with the pain. I didn't even think about it when I went to take my drug test. They called and asked for my doctor's prescription for the Lortab. Of course, I don't have one, so now it looks like I am a druggie!

I am by far one of the cleanest drug free people I know. I am still in shock that I failed the test. The company did say something about sending me to drug counseling and re-test in a month, so I am waiting to here what they would like me to do, but honestly, drug counseling for one pill? CRAZY!

I also had the pleasure of calling my parents and telling them that I failed my test. I feel as though, I totally let them down. It amazes me that I still feel incredibly bad about disappointing my parents. I thought with age, that feeling would go away, but oh no! It is more prevalent than ever! They took it rather well, but I know deep down, they are disappointed. I am disappointed in myself. My father enlightened me that, this kind of thing happens all the time in his business...but I am not everyone! That made me feel a little better, but still I am not a happy camper.

The Mammoth!

Living in a city for the first time. I never had the opportunity to attend a lot of professional sporting events. Well the times are a changing. I am trying to attend at least one home game from every sport that this lovely city has to offer. I am very excited, to have the opportunity to take in professional and college games in sports such as basketball, baseball, football, lacrosse, rugby, hockey, and golf (I might have missed some, but I have an entire year to find all the schedules). Hopefully, I will be able to score some cheap or even free tickets to most of the events. The year has just begun, and I have plenty of time to get them in all in.

My first game of the year was the men's indoor lacrosse team, the Mammoth. The arena was about 80% full and the crowd was really into the game. The people were friendly, the drinks were flowing, the team was working together rather nicely, and everyone seemed to have a great time. The good news is that the Mammoth beat the Lumberjacks.

I will be keeping you all up to date on all of the sporting events that I take in.

Patience...

I wish I could go back about 20 years and re-learn the value of having patience. I can't stress enough, what a fantastic job my parents did raising my sister and I, but I must have called in sick on every day that the lesson of patience was being taught. My sister is much better at being patient then I, after all she works in the medical field, she has to deal day in and day out with actual patients. My patiences are truly being put to the test. How many chances do you really have to give someone? I am all about giving people the benefit of the doubt. I am all about giving them chances. Some, get more chances then others, but none the less, everyone gets at least two chances.

Lately, I have been really really good at just rolling with the punches. In the past year, I learned that, once I get all worked up, I am the only one that can really calm myself down (well, for the most part anyway). Given that, I have tried very hard to not get worked up, emotional, or invested in any particular event that will get my blood pressure up and begin to irritate me. Life is so much more fun, when I just smile through the situation. For example, I have found that I spend the same amount of time being upset about the way the dishwasher was loaded, when I could have just emptied the dishwasher, without wasting the energy of getting upset and then calming myself down. After all, I end up completing the task anyway, so now I have wasted double the minutes. If I just roll with the punches, life seems to be so much easier, less serious and a lot more fun than the other option. This really seems to be the best strategy.

Like I said before, my patience are being put to the test. Currently, I am hanging out in my room, for the sure fact, that I just don't want to baby sit anymore. It really isn't fun, to take care of a grown adult, when they continue to self sabotage. Okay, so we have all had our days of getting drunk and silly or high and crazy. On numerous occasions, I have had way to much to drink, I was extremely lucky to have people who truly loved me to take care of me. There are only so many times I can have the same conversation, clean up an alcohol spill on the carpet, or best of all, continue to check if you are still breathing, before my patience begin to dwindle. Well my patience are dwindling and dwindling rather quickly.

I pray for the strength to continue to grow in a positive way. I would like to continue to strive to be a good person. I would love to be this rock that is the most patient person. Obviously, since I am hiding in my room because I refuse to see someone I care about continue to self sabotage, I have a long road ahead of me when it comes to patience. May this person become to realize that the self sabotaging is just not something that most want to be around. There is so much more to life, than drinking yourself or doing drugs to induce yourself into oblivion.

May you all in enjoy your drinks, drugs or whatever it is that lets you release your stress or annoyances from life. Take life one day at a time and enjoy the little things that make you smile. May you all find those smiles without the drinks or the drugs.

Oh, and if any of you have advice on becoming more patient, please please, pass it along. I will take all the help I can get.

Playing Secretary

I got the pleasure of playing secretary in Swallow's tax office today. :) Lets put it this way, I am glad I went to college! Although, I don't technically use my degree, having my degree at least over qualifies me for a receptionist position.

In my first five minutes the "lead" secretary/receptionist was informing me that I needed to change a few names on a letter and print out copies of them. Okay, this isn't rocket science, I am pretty sure I can get this done. Five minutes later, I was done, had them printed on the company letter head and was ready for task number two. She couldn't believe that I not only was able to do this task, but also that I had it done and in neatly organized piles for each tax preparer. Who knew that the blonde was capable of typing, printing, organizing and doing so in a timely manner?
The look on this ladies face, was just priceless.

I am sure that she is an extremely hard worker. I guess college does teach you how to work smarter not harder.

Lesson of the day, don't judge a book by its cover!

May you all appreciate the people that have a brain and are capable of using it!

Food for thought.

"Happiness begins on the inside. Nurture the inner spirit and everything will be cast in a brilliant new light."

"The key to finding what you’ve been searching for is to simply stop looking. The things you seek will ultimately find you."

"The greatest ideas are often revealed when we allow ourselves the time and distance to recognize them clearly."

"It’s the moments we enjoy not the possessions we’ve acquired that provide the deepest satisfaction."

Lent.

Not really a Catholic, but like most of you know, I will celebrate almost any holiday (hanukkah, kwanza, christmas, MLK day, Presidents day, Flag Day, April Fools Day, etc...), I also celebrate Lent. What can I say, its all about the celebration! Not every year am I successful, but I definitely give it my best shot.

When I was a child, our family had a very close bond with a lovely woman, who has since passed, but she always gave up 12 Oaks wine for lent. This woman, could put back some serious wine, and year after year she always gave it up for lent. I am not even sure she was a practicing catholic, but none the less she gave it up. She was successful every year, but man those 40 days were definitely a challenge for her. So in memory of Rachel, I have decided that I need to participate in Lent. This year I am going to give up two things. One, I know will be an extreme challenge and the other is just good for my health and my sanity...probably my mother's sanity as well.

The first thing I am giving up is COFFEE. I absolutely love COFFEE. I could drink it all day everyday. My love for coffee isn't even about the caffeine (that certainly helps), but the taste, the warmth, the aroma of the coffee as it brews. Oh my mouth is watering, as I type. I don't know how I will survive, but I am going to give it my best shot. One day down and 39 nine to go. I will keep you posted as I start to go through the withdrawal symptoms and also how I do with the next 39 coffee free days.

The other thing I am giving up is binge drinking. Today the generally accepted definition of binge drinking in the United States is the consumption of five or more drinks in a row by men — or four or more drinks in a row by women — at least once in the previous 2 weeks. Heavy binge drinking includes three or more such episodes in 2 weeks. I have been known to put back my share of shots and drinks in one setting. Unfortunately, this past weekend I would be considered a serial binge drinker. Since my liver, normal health, sanity and the sanity of my mother are important to me, I have decided that binge drinking is another good thing to give up. I will still be having a glass or two of wine with dinner, but no more crazy drunken nights that might leave me sleeping on the tile floors. :)

I will keep you posted on my progress in the next 39 days. Good luck to the rest of you who are trying to give up something for lent. May we all be successful. :)

Make it a fabulous day.

The Mermaid.

Last night was Fat Tuesday. Yes, I know it was extremely early this year, and I, like most of you were not prepared for lent to come so quickly.

Back in the days of college, Fat Tuesday, was a great night to go party. I can still remember being 2 days away from 21 and sneaking underneath a black tarp to get into a club to celebrate Fat Tuesdays. Only to find out that it was an 18 and up night. Oh, the good old days of the stupid things I tried to pull off in college.

Fat Tuesday, now seems like a ridiculous reason to go out, have a few drinks and wear some beads. Last night at the bar I frequent, happened to have adult cart races. Cart races were teams of four or five people who decorated a shopping cart and drove/pushed someone (me) around the bar in the cart. I was on the mermaid team. Our cart was decorated like a pirate ship and I was the drunk mermaid held hostage by the pirates. Rather amusing, considering it was about 15 degrees outside and I had on a bikini and a mermaid tail in a bar. There has be some health code violation for that, but we will save that for another time and place. Our team made it to the finals but we lost to the booby team, who happened to show their boobs. I guess that is what Mardi Gras is really all about, anyways.

It was getting late last night, and it seemed so easy to just put on my pajamas and stay home. But come on, it was Fat Tuesday and I had already committed to helping out my team. So I got dressed in my mermaid outfit and headed to the bar. I was definitely a hit, hell any female in a bikini/mermaid outfit in Colorado during the month of February, is sure to be a hit. A few drinks down and an open bar tab, it was hard to not stay. So, I handed over my keys and stayed to party with my friends. Great times, Great times. It reminded me of the good old days of celebrating Fat Tuesday during college. Although, I wasn't feel to great this morning, I survived.
I am finally beginning to set some roots here in Colorado. I am happy and feeling pretty good about where I am. I am making a good core group of friends, and that definitely helps :).

Left or Right?

Lately, I have been hearing numerous political arguments. Most of them have been extremely amusing. In one instance, someone actually stated that the United States would be better off if we didn't have taxes, just that people donated whatever amount they felt would be sufficient. Honestly people, how many of you would just randomly send a check to the government for the amount you thought was enough? In another situation, someone was claiming to a conservative republican. I guess, I wasn't giving off my conservative republican vibe, because this person was trying to recruit me by stating that I would be richer if I was a Republican and I would be allowed to have a same sex marriage. Obviously, she was a little confused about which side of the fence her particular party was, on that issue. Another argument I witnessed was, while I was in a room of about 8 people of all different backgrounds, and this person was the only one talking. It was as if this person was arguing all by them self. Absolutely hysterical!

I was raised in a family that is very liberal. My parents did not instill their political beliefs on me, they did try to educate me on certain issues. The let my sister and I choose what we wanted to believe in and how active we wanted to be. Nothing was forced, pushed or shoved down our throats.

One thing, I do appreciate is that fact that my parents taught us not to talk or agrue about politics or religion in mixed company. Apparently, not everyone got those memos. Needless to say, I do find it funny when I hear people barking incorrectly about one thing or another about the different parties. It is sad to hear that the people are so head strong about one particular party, yet their argument is basically for the other party. If only people would spend even half the amount of time reading the facts as as they do arguing our society would be a better place. However, our world does need those head strong A type personalities, otherwise life would just be too boring.

I found a great site that has let me do some very basic research that might help educate people on the difference of the each political party. I will continue to do more, but here are some basic views to get you guys started. I also promise to only publish the same information for both sides. I will never share my opinion nor force it upon you. I am simply trying to share information. If I stumbled across three different people in the last week that didn't know the left from the right, I am sure we all know a few more, so feel free to pass along the site to let them read up.

http://www.socyberty.com/Politics/Republican-vs-Democrat-Party.26634

Abortion

Democrats: It's the woman's right to choose and should therefore be legal

Republicans: It should not be legal and the government should restrict it as such.

Gun Control Laws

Democrats: More gun control laws are needed to address a seemly growing problem with guns

Republicans: Oppose more gun control laws, citing that it's not what the Constitution calls for.

Discrimination

Democrats: It's up to the government to step in and provide a “net” to victims of this practice

Republicans: Strong anti-discrimination laws are unnecessary. People have morals, as they say, and should be given the benefit of the doubt

Military

Democrats: Prefers a decrease military spending. This party also likes to utilize NATO and the UN; never wanting to truly go in “alone” on world issues.

Republicans: They are known for increasing military spending. They also tend to want to stand alone when dealing with NATO and the United Nations.

Gay Rights

Democrats: Usually for gays rights and believe it's apart of their civil rights to be with whom ever they choose.

Republicans: Tend to hold the view that marriage should be between people of the opposite sex, not the same.

Minimum Wage

Democrats: Favor the workers and always seem to support minimum wage hikes.

Republicans: Don't normally favor minimum wage increases because they say is hurts businesses.

Death Penalty

Democrats: Does not agree with taking someone's life as a means of discipline.

Republicans: The death penalty is necessary to curb violent crimes.

Prayer in schools

Democrats: There should be a separation between church and state

Republicans: It's apart of our nation's culture to place prayer in school and keep it that way.

Flag Burning:

Democrats: Flag burning is acceptable because it falls under freedom of speech

Republicans: Flag burning is unacceptable and is not what the constitution intended.

Natural Environment:

Democrats: The environment need to be protect and it's the government's job to enforce laws against harming the environment

Republicans: Have some environment laws but don't make them too strong, could do more harm than good.

Taxes:

Democrats: The people with the most money should pay the most taxes, tax increases are mostly good.

Republicans: the entire economy can benefit if taxes remain relatively low, tax cuts are the way to go.

Super Tuesday

Tomorrow is super tuesday! Here is a little trivia to see how well you actually know your candidates.

• Which Democratic candidate used to be a supporter of conservative Republican Barry Goldwater?
• Which candidate has never held elective office?
• Which candidate's father ran for president?
• Which candidate was first elected to the U.S. Senate at age 29?
• Which candidate was mayor of Cleveland, Ohio in the 1970s?
• Which vociferously anti-war candidate once ran for president on a third party ticket?
• Which candidate, in local elections, was endorsed by a minor party known as the Liberal Party?

If you have the opportunity to vote, please take advantage. Every vote counts.

The Champions

Congrats to the New York Giants and all you New Yorker fans. Eli Manning did an amazing job to lead his team 83 yards in 12 plays to win the Super Bowl.

I am not a fan of Eli Manning nor the New York Giants or any of there fans, for that matter, BUT I do give credit where credit is due. Big thanks to Eli Manning to making the game interesting right down to the very end. :)

Positive Thinking

Sometimes people need to remember to believe.

"Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face...You must do that which you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Straight Up Got Arrested

Never been in trouble a day in my life. However, that has all changed. I went to the Phoenix Open with Swallow, Individual Deserts, and Mascara. It is a party for the see and be seen. A great reason to get all dressed up, pay for over priced beers and soak up some sun. Not many people at the tournament, were actually there to watch golf. Many of the golfers on the tour have refused to come back, because people are so loud and disrespectful of the idea that golf is a game of silence and concentration.

Since it is a game of silence, the crowd is not suppose to bring in cell phones and cameras. Of course, out of the four of us, I had the smallest camera and skinniest cell phone so I stuck them down in my pants and in we went. The cell phone came in very handy when we were trying to meet up with Swallow's friends and we also got some great pictures (I will post these when I get home). So, Mascara needed to go to the bathroom, and like our mom's always told us strength in numbers, Mascara and I partake on our adventure to the portapotty. We struggle to get through the crowd, do our thing, wash our hands and then struggle to get back through the crowd over to where Swallow and Individual Deserts are standing. I walk up and immediately, Swallow says "Call James and find out where he is." I whip out my cell phone and call him, of course, swallow gives directions and I listen.

A police officer walks up and says "Maam, is that a cell phone?" My first instinct is to lie, so I calmly say "no," and turn my back to him. Worse case secenario is they take my cell phone, "its all good, because I have insurance, so I am cool with it." He explains that we aren't allowed to have cell phones and that he is going to have to arrest me. He puts my hands behind my back, and I tense up. "Holy shit, how on earth am I going to explain this one to my family?" Swallow and Individual Deserts just stand there, and Mascara, is trying to figure out what is going on. I am immediately quiet and very pleaseant with the officer, in an attempt to not get arrested. He then started to laugh, as did Swallow and Individual Deserts. Apparently, they concocked this wonderful little plan while we were in the bathroom.

Talk about a terrible experience. My blood pressure went through the roof.

Finding Trouble

Swallow and I are off for a weekend trip to Phoenix in search of trouble. I am look forward to a little R & R, because apparently, I don't do that enough as it is. We have tickets to the Phoenix Open and the Super Bowl. That should give us are fill of Sports for a little while at least.

Most people know about my love for a little game of Flip Cup, so I was ever so happy to hear that one of Swallow's friends had recently purchased a new table with the perfect length for flip cup and beer pong. Oh back to the good old days of tailgating.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Please please please be safe. Hopefully, I will have some great stories to share. All in all it should be a successful weekend. :)

Make it wonderful!