Patience...

I wish I could go back about 20 years and re-learn the value of having patience. I can't stress enough, what a fantastic job my parents did raising my sister and I, but I must have called in sick on every day that the lesson of patience was being taught. My sister is much better at being patient then I, after all she works in the medical field, she has to deal day in and day out with actual patients. My patiences are truly being put to the test. How many chances do you really have to give someone? I am all about giving people the benefit of the doubt. I am all about giving them chances. Some, get more chances then others, but none the less, everyone gets at least two chances.

Lately, I have been really really good at just rolling with the punches. In the past year, I learned that, once I get all worked up, I am the only one that can really calm myself down (well, for the most part anyway). Given that, I have tried very hard to not get worked up, emotional, or invested in any particular event that will get my blood pressure up and begin to irritate me. Life is so much more fun, when I just smile through the situation. For example, I have found that I spend the same amount of time being upset about the way the dishwasher was loaded, when I could have just emptied the dishwasher, without wasting the energy of getting upset and then calming myself down. After all, I end up completing the task anyway, so now I have wasted double the minutes. If I just roll with the punches, life seems to be so much easier, less serious and a lot more fun than the other option. This really seems to be the best strategy.

Like I said before, my patience are being put to the test. Currently, I am hanging out in my room, for the sure fact, that I just don't want to baby sit anymore. It really isn't fun, to take care of a grown adult, when they continue to self sabotage. Okay, so we have all had our days of getting drunk and silly or high and crazy. On numerous occasions, I have had way to much to drink, I was extremely lucky to have people who truly loved me to take care of me. There are only so many times I can have the same conversation, clean up an alcohol spill on the carpet, or best of all, continue to check if you are still breathing, before my patience begin to dwindle. Well my patience are dwindling and dwindling rather quickly.

I pray for the strength to continue to grow in a positive way. I would like to continue to strive to be a good person. I would love to be this rock that is the most patient person. Obviously, since I am hiding in my room because I refuse to see someone I care about continue to self sabotage, I have a long road ahead of me when it comes to patience. May this person become to realize that the self sabotaging is just not something that most want to be around. There is so much more to life, than drinking yourself or doing drugs to induce yourself into oblivion.

May you all in enjoy your drinks, drugs or whatever it is that lets you release your stress or annoyances from life. Take life one day at a time and enjoy the little things that make you smile. May you all find those smiles without the drinks or the drugs.

Oh, and if any of you have advice on becoming more patient, please please, pass it along. I will take all the help I can get.