Recently, I had a conversation with Delegate about not wanting to ever put a face with a name? I was puzzled and amused at the same time. I had a) never heard anyone say that and b) never considered it as an option. Everyone has their own wants, needs, and desires...but honestly I never thought that people preferred not to know what or who other people are.
I'll give you a little background to help with the story. I am of the idea that I would like to know who the people are when I hear about them. For instance I have lived in Denver about 10 months and have told my family numerous stories since moving here, when they came out to visit the first thing I wanted to do was to introduce my family to my friends so they could get a name to go with a face. I thought everyone did that. Apparently, that isn't the case. Yes, I agree that the example I just portrayed is extremely elementary, but it is still a valid point.
The Delegate was referring more to past relationships, which I again didn't seem to understand. I am guessing that it is based on comparison the new vs the old...but I am not really sure. I have dated a few people in my short tenure in the dating world. A couple of which I didn't know the ex's but I did come across pictures of them eventually. I could honestly careless who the person dated before me...the past is the past for a reason. I strive extremely hard to leave the past as a past and move forward. Yes, the past helps mold you into who you are today, but it does not keep you in the past.
Keeping that mind set, I made a comment about liking who I am as a person and not willing to change. Shannnnnnnnnnnnon and I have had numerous conversations about how we have been around for X number of years and people can't change us over night. I agreed with her until last night when the Delegate explained change, altering or adjusting. I didn't realize that I actually had changed over the past for certain situations. I didn't understand why until it was explained...there I sat, listening and trying to grasp the concept and then the light bulb went off.
Who am I to sit there and say that I am not willing to change. That I must be so high and mighty that I do not need to adjust or change in any way. Well in my defense I viewed the word change to the enth degree! I took that as completely and totally alter myself, and it doesn't mean that...I mean it could essentially mean that but it does not have too. Instead it is meant to alter or adjust for the given relationship, usually small things sometimes large things, but the idea is willing to adjust for the positives. Yes, when people get together things do change amongst each other. When I lived with my best friend in college, she didn't eat any vegetables...if I was cooking she most certainly was going to start eating them, not all of them but at least some of them. To this day she still thanks me for that!
I am not being asked to change drastically, and nothing has really be set in stone that I will change, but I need to be open to the idea that I can and will alter or adjust for the right situation. Please keep in mind that I am still an overly stubborn and strong willed person, but a little change might be a good thing. It can only make me a better more well rounded individual. I can't knock things I don't know nor will I can continue to stand on my pedistol and swear that I will not change.
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Well, I do not think change is the appropriate word. Because the word "change" may carry negative connotation, I describe your situation as "personal evolution."
ReplyDeleteSimilar to all aspects of society, people evolve and become wiser and more aware of themselves. Thus, in order to progress and move forward, an individual becomes more self-aware and their personality evolves.
In sum, an individual's experiences shape their personality and outlook on life. As an individual becomes aware of these characteristics, an individual's personality and outlooks evolve. Therefore, you are not changing but merely evolving.