The Sister Relationship.

I haven't quite mastered the sister relationship, (although, I haven't ever really mastered any relationship), back when I lived in Florida some would look at Tumbles and I's relationship as absolutely perfect. Of course, we had our challenges but they were simple and easily overcome. Yes, things have gotten more and more challenging with my move across the country and her traveling...but I know at the end of the day there is no one more important in my life than my sister (sorry mom and dad). I know I struggle to tell my sister how much I love her and how much she means to me, that really is something I should work on day in and day out. I know I push her buttons to get certain reactions or if I am really annoyed I just wont say anything and that drives her absolutely batty...Sorry Tumbles. Momma always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...well I have seemed to manage to take that to an entirely new level, but I admit I am working on it!

Okay so enough about that random tangent. Last night, I got off work and had a drink with Ames's big sister (she doesn't have a nick name, yet so we will call her KK). I have hung out with both sister's individually and collectively, they remind me very much of my sister and I. The age difference is the same and they are both fun, easy going and intelligent women. So it always makes for a good time. Last night we hung out on a more serious level. There was sister drama and I happened to be the best candidate to listen to the sister drama. Here is the short version -KK had a boyfriend for like three years, they had a bad break up but now they are back together. KK wants Ames and the fam to be accepting and welcoming of the relationship, however, she struggles to see that they will ever be...fair enough. KK is feeling left out because Ames and her use to be the bestest of buds but now Ames has a boyfriend that lives 45 minutes away so she is never around anymore...fair enough.

As I was sitting there listening to KK's side of Ames's new distraction. I was quickly reminded that my sister and I went through the same thing when I started dating Buster. It was a challenge because my sister had always had my undivided attention, but now it was about sharing (well not really sharing because I was all wrapped up, but you get the message). I tried to remind KK how wonderful it feels to be in the honeymoon stage of a relationship, where you simply can't get enough of the person. She smiled all giddy and was pretty accepting, that the honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. I told her about how I dealt with my sister's boyfriends. I always tried to be accepting, but if I didn't like them I would put them in situations that I knew their true colors would come out and they would be gone within the week. Trust me it worked wonders, although my sister has never thanked me, I think she is pretty happy her little sister scared away the bums! Okay so one problem acknowledged and addressed, but by no means fixed...on to number 2. How do I get them to be more accepting of the boyfriend. Well, I got a kick out of this part, because again my sister and I went through the same thing.

Buster and I had a terrible break-up but there was a point at which we thought we might get back together. I tried to explain that to my friends and some of my family and they were all very very against it. It was for the simple reason that they had all only heard the negatives. The negatives were so fresh in their mind that they couldn't remember the positives. No one could see why on earth I would possibly want to go back to Buster. I tried to enlighten KK that they are only nervous because they don't want to see you hurt again. They don't want to see you go through what could have been the hardest thing in your life. My advice was to start mentioning the positives. Don't jam it down their throats with all positives, but a simple mention of how wonderful the boy is, or what he did to make you smile today...they will slowly begin to turn around. I told her at the end of the day the family really wants to see you happy. If boyfriend makes you happy, then you have to follow your heart but on the second time around you have to listen to your head. She looked at me with the straightest of straight faces and said "your sister is pretty lucky." I smiled and said, "no actually, I am the lucky one, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have my sister paving the road for me."

It felt pretty good when I hugged KK goodnight and wished her good luck with both issues. What she didn't know was that I gave the same advice to Ames about two hours before. It is always fun playing devils advocate. :) Funny how sisters that are ridiculously close still can't manage to have these conversations. Tumbles and I are close, but when push comes to shove Werd still gets involved.